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2021-01-01 - Does a 'Standard' Toilet Roll Exist?

Until this year most people probably didn't think a great deal about buying rolls of toilet paper… That all changed with the great toilet paper shortage of March. Those times have passed, but it's still surprisingly difficult to get a particular brand or size of pack here. We don't ever seem to get what we ask for in our grocery pickup orders.

Anyway, all of the different brands and packs of toilet roll we have received this year claim that they are SUPER, MEGA, or ULTRA. If you believe them, one 6-pack is equivalent to 24 standard toilet tolls. Yes! they have crammed 4x the amount of paper onto a single roll.

What on earth is a standard roll of toilet paper though? I'm not sure I've ever seen a roll with 1/4 of the number of sheets. It seems to be some mythical item that exists only so manufacturers can claim theirs are 4 TIMES BIGGER!

I've been thinking about this far too much, so I had a search around on the net. A bulk pack of Scott Professional bathroom tissue actually claims it contains '80 Standard Rolls Individually Wrapped'. These 'Standard Rolls' are 550 sheets per roll 2-ply. 550 sheets sounds like a lot to me. Certainly can't imagine those 4x Mega rolls are 2,200 sheets!

Jumping over to the Charmin website and, oh my, they have a 'Super Mega Roll' that's equivalent to 6, yes 6, standard rolls. Hmmmm… but that's 6 Charmin standard rolls. A-ha…. so they have some special definition of a standard roll to make their Super Mega roll more impressive then? Wait a minute… when you go to look at their product list there's Mega, Super, and Forever size. There is no Charmin standard roll. How do they get away with this? The plot thickens further too. The Super Mega roll is 426 sheets per roll, or 124 fewer than that Scott's standard roll above.

I have lost all faith in purveyors of toilet paper.


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